Love is too bitter sweet. Whether you were the one being left, or you did the leaving, breakups aren’t easy. They can take longer to get over than any of us would like to admit, but the good news is that there is no timer on your healing heart. It’s up to you where you let the emotional roller coaster take you, and it’s up to you how you choose to heal. Here are 10 tips for getting over a breakup.

1. Block or unadd your ex from social media. Nobody likes an Insta-stalker, so don’t let your curiosity get the better of you and your dignity. As tempting as it may be to constantly check your ex’s story and profile, wait for a new bae to pop up in their bio, or creep on their Snapchat location to see if they’ve left their house this weekend- don’t. They have their own life, as do you.

2. Cry. Remember way back in 6th grade when you would lie on your bed listening to your breakup playlist composed of 2011 Ed Sheeran, even though you hadn’t even been in a relationship yet? It’s time to break it out. This tip is honestly a hit or miss, depending on who you are. You may cry a river, or be saturated after the first couple of sniffles. What science is here to tell you, is that whatever your preferred coping mechanism may be, crying is actually good for you. Your body is releasing tons of oxytocin and endorphins, so while it won’t heal your heart, it will help relieve some of the pain— or what some call heartache.

3. Surround yourself with people you love. Sadness is best cured with lots of hugs and quality time with your friends and family (although, the hugs are not required). During the fragile few weeks after your breakup, being left alone with thoughts and reminders of what once was won’t just make you sad, but it will also make it harder for you to move on. Plan a movie night or sleepover with your best friends, or make time for a game night with your family. It might help to take your mind off of things for a little while.

4. Don’t rebound. Breakups kind of feel like you’re missing a puzzle piece to your own heart. While snatching a new boo might seem like the spoonful of sugar to a bad breakup, that missing space in your heart cannot so easily be filled by jumping into a new relationship. Rebounds are more often than not, doomed to fail. So slow down and take time to relearn yourself, and who you are outside of a couple before you hop back on the horse.

5. Take some “me time”. Go on a walk, ride a bike, hang out with your pet, or watch your favorite movie. Basically, whatever makes you feel calm and centered can prevent your emotions from getting the better of you. Remember that this is a difficult time and you’re allowed to be sad! It’s okay to indulge, pamper, and of course pay a little extra attention to your own mental and emotional health.

6. Change your routine. Routines can be great because they keep us organized, and on-time for the many responsibilities life hands us. During a relationship, routines can get either centered, or very influenced by the person we spend the most time with. A.K.A: the significant other. Try changing up what you have for breakfast, or where you meet your friends in the morning before school. Not saying you should move houses, or completely rearrange your life, but a little something different might just do the trick.

7. Write it out. Find a journal, or a blank piece of paper and just write. Writing out your feelings, and everything that comes to your mind when you think about your breakup will help you feel more calm, and possibly less upset. It doesn’t matter if it’s complete sentences, or if it even makes sense because it all comes from the complex and crazy place called your head. Who knows what you might uncover?

8. Understand why it happened. Breakups are inevitable in most cases. Don’t seek revenge, or keep feelings of hate and anger inside you. There was a good reason that you and your partner broke up, and it’s important to understand those reasons to get closure.

9. Find what you love about being single. Think about how much time you used to spend on your significant other, and what you could do with that time now.

• You can go on exciting first dates.
• You can put your needs first.
• You will spend less money.
• You don’t have the added responsibility of a relationship.
• You have more time to focus on your schoolwork or job.

10. Go on a couple dates (if you want). Don’t jump back in too soon, but also don’t wait forever. Finding new people you have the potential to connect with can be exciting, and at the right time, magical. Eventually, you will feel ready enough to look back on your past relationship and smile at the good times, but also be able to learn from your mistakes in order to make your next relationship better.

They always say, “you can’t have a rainbow, without any rain.”

People often grow apart from each other when we least expect it. It’s not ideal, but it’s the way the river flows. Above all else, remember that nothing is the end of the world and life always goes on.