“I fell in the toilet!” 

“My cat pooped on my homework.”

“Diarrhea… AGAIN!”

“I let one slip and had to go home to change my pants. It was a risky one.” 

“My dog ate my homework.”

“I ate my homework.”

“Mrs. Kaye ate my homework.” 

“My homework ate me.”

“There was a 40 car pileup on 67th Avenue.”  

“I was busy doing stuff…”

“The cops got me again.”

“I had to walk my cat.”  

“I had to walk my lizard.”

“My grandma got ran over by a reindeer and was in life-threatening condition.”

“Luke Combs made a surprise visit and I was occupied.” 

“I licked a frozen pole and my tongue got stuck for 3 hours.”

“My hamster had the hiccups.”

“My dog gave birth.” (This is our most valid excuse.)

“A Russian bot hacked my computer.”

“I had to stop the Demogorgon from eating my grandma!”

“I had to babysit my neighbor’s cousin’s aunt’s hamster.”

“A bear attacked me on the way home.”

“I fell up the stairs.” 

“As I was trudging across the cold, dangerous hills of Siberia, I got caught up in a little something. Well, you see, it was rather tough. As I was making my way back to Arizona, a seemingly nice Russian man approached me. I expected him to help me, yet I was beyond wrong. He took all I had, even my homework. After 4 long winter nights, I was able to make it back home. Sadly, my homework could not.”

“Mr. Korman put me through the wall. I didn’t wake up for a few days…”

“I was trapped in the lunch line for 16 long hours.”

“Alice hit me with her golf cart!” 

“I fractured my leg! (Sorry Aileen :P).”

“I was doing a marathon of the Shrek films.” 

“My dad forced me to study for the SAT, for TWO WHOLE DAYS!!!” 

“I accidentally ran into Mr. Mohler, and, well you know how that goes.” 

“I was forced into The Ludovico Technique, it was horrible!” 

“I got lost in the CC building.” 

“I wrote a piece so bad that Walter Cronkite came back to life just to scold me for a hot minute.” 

“Everything went black, and before you know it, I woke up in Detroit.” 

“An NFL star drop kicked me across the U.S.”

“Mrs. Saufley had me run…four miles in ten minutes.” 

“I was too busy listening to Mr. Gabow play the saxophone.” 

So there we go, there’s our lengthy list of excuses according to our staff team. Some of them seem pretty serious, some of them less so. 

Do you have any interesting, genuine, funny (or all three) excuses that you’ve had to use over the years that you’re interested in sharing? If so, please share them with us on our school Instagram!