Mac ‘n’ cheese is one of the best late night meals, but the issue is, it tends to be quite loud. All the rattling of the pots, pouring of the noodles, and the boiling water burning on the stove is just not a good combination. 

If you want to satisfy those late night cravings, it requires a meticulous process to avoid waking someone up. It just so happens that I have a few genius tips on how to avoid waking someone up during such hours.

#1 Close Off As Many Sources of Sound As Possible

It always begins with trying to silence any possible sounds. Slowly grabbing the pot from the cabinet works until something goes terribly wrong. How do you think all those dents got there in the first place? Well, even if you are sure you won’t drop anything, better safe than sorry. All you can do is hope that the door doesn’t somehow slam shut while doing so.

#2 Pray to the Mac ‘N’ Cheese Gods 

When it’s 3 in the morning, it’s most likely dead silent. The only thing you can hear is your panicked breaths after you closed those doors. If you have made it to this step, I’m guessing that was a success of some sort. You can’t exactly silence the boiling water, but you can pray to any being out there that it isn’t too loud. The mac ‘n’ cheese gods may answer this one time and not let the popping of the water wake anyone up. If it isn’t too loud, maybe pouring in the noodles won’t be too bad.. Right?

#3 Pour the Noodles Very Slowly

The pure volume of those noodles scathing the cardboard never fails to amaze me. This 3 am morning went from dead silent to a ton of noodles spilling in a pot of boiling water (which is very loud). Pouring it slowly gives you that false sense of security that is always needed later in the night. Trying to pour it all in at once may seem like the easy way out, but the crash of the noodles can even awaken someone from a 15 year coma. Your best bet is to slowly do it to minimize any possible noise. All of the water may evaporate by the time you are done, but at least no one woke up. 

#4 Take A Moment to Enjoy the Peace While You Stir 

Congrats, you finally got through some of the loudest parts of making mac ‘n’ cheese! You can now endlessly stir until your mind goes blank. Make sure not to be too reckless, though. If any of that boiling water spills on the searing stove, the sound won’t be pretty. It may not be enough to wake someone up, but it will definitely give you a panic attack. Other than that, just make sure the noodles don’t burn as you sit in silence.

#5 Once Again, Slowly Pour All the Contents of the Pot in a Strainer

This is basic Mac ‘n’ Cheese common sense, but no sane person mixes in the cheese powder with the water obviously (just ask our Editor in Chief). This is yet another loud task, so you know what to do. Pouring the water in the sink is definitely not as loud as pouring out those cursed noodles, so going slow may not be too high of a priority. You can never be too sure though, you don’t want to hear the bellowing, angry yells of a parent in the distance. Once you strain all the water from the noodles, you are almost done! Good for you… I think.

#6 Mix the Cheese Powder in Along With All Other Required Ingredients

I wouldn’t classify this step as a loud one, you just need to be cautious while doing it. Mix however much cheese, butter, and milk you usually do to create the perfect late night meal. If you add anything else, I don’t know what’s wrong with you but go ahead. But if you add anything weird, such as ketchup, it’s on sight. The sound from the stirring is relatively quiet so you are safe, just don’t manage to drop anything that could wake up the whole neighborhood.

#7 Pour the Mac ‘n’ Cheese in a Bowl

If you have made it this far, either you are a mac ‘n’ cheese expert or the mac ‘n’ cheese gods answered your prayers. Either way, you are nearing the end of finishing your delicious meal without waking someone up. Congrats! Grip the pot however hard you need to, just don’t let anything fall, even if it costs you an arm and a leg. Actually, if you lost an arm and a leg that would be a completely different story so scratch that. With the cheesy goodness now safe in your bowl, there is only one more step..

#8 Try Not to Die as Your Fork Makes ‘Eating Noises’

The metal against the ceramic bowl is by far one of the most loud things in the process. The worst part is, you have to deal with it until you are done eating. All you can do is intensely watch the fork as you stab the noodles to avoid any possible noise. Oh yea, be sure not to miraculously choke on your food if that’s also an issue. Do this until you have successfully finished the bowl of mac ‘n’ cheese.

Hopefully you now know how to make one of the 7 wonders of the world, mac ‘n’ cheese, without waking anyone up! This may be a painful process, trust me I would know, but the reward is beyond worth it. Just be sure to look out behind you, as you never know if your angry, half-asleep bear of a dad is right there and ready to rumble.