I think it’s safe to say that here at Mountain Ridge, we know how to give a friendly welcome to our new students. Well, I would like to take this opportunity to do quite the contrary and help our current seniors out the door. 

This year, I’m a junior. That means that next year I get to enjoy all of the luxuries that nearly every senior encounters now. I mean seriously, they are living the life here in highschool. I think it’s about time that I get a piece of that. 

Okay, let’s start with the cafeteria. I have been going to this high school for three years and have yet to sit in the cafeteria. This will in fact be my third year sitting on the hot Arizona cement, eating my lunch with the ants. Those seniors are so lucky! They get automatic rights to the nice indoor air conditioning. 

Almost every day I try to scope out a lunch table but they are all taken up by talking, not eating, seniors. So while they are enjoying their time taking up space, I am dying underneath the brutal sun.  Some  don’t even eat because they get out of school early and probably just plan on grabbing something to eat on their way home. Oh, wouldn’t it be great to be a senior.

While we are somewhat on the topic of seniors getting out early, let’s talk about how they randomly pop into their old classes. They have time to do this when their school day is technically over. They wander the campus and visit their previous teachers and what not. It’s a truly awkward experience for those of us who are still taking the class that they decide to visit. 

Those seniors totally humiliate us! They say things like, “Awe! I remember being this little!” or, “Oh yeah, this class isn’t even that hard.” Like okay bro, tell that to my grade. I know that we are only a year apart, but I can’t wait to feel grown enough to make the same exact remarks to the students under me. Oh, wouldn’t it be great to be a senior.

Can we just take a moment to recognize the fact that the seniors and teachers here are on a first name basis? I mean seriously, they act as if they have been besties for thirty years or something. One day, Mr. Korman is teaching little Tommy about defamation and liability, then the next day little Tommy passes him in the hallway saying, “Yo Adam! How’s the fam?” Oh, wouldn’t it be great to be a senior. 

Now let’s talk about the whole parking situation. I feel like when you get a good parking spot, you know that the day is going to be in your favor. Well, imagine starting off everyday like that. The seniors get to attend school without dripping in sweat because of the long walk from the junior lot. Oh, wouldn’t it be great to be a senior. 

Next, let’s praise whoever came up with the idea of seniors wearing nostalgic backpacks that remind them of their childhood. I must say that this is one of my favorite trends. I absolutely look forward to the day that I get to walk around school in my spongebob backpack without being judged by the society that school brings. And one of the great parts about this is that as I walk around the school, people will have no choice but to notice that I am a senior, meaning that I rule over them all. Oh, it wouldn’t be great to be a senior.

Lastly, let’s discuss the senior color. PINK! They literally have the best color of all eternity! It’s such a fun and bright color plus it brings such attention to the student section in our home football games. I mean, everything that is pink is wonderful like pigs, cotton candy, flamingos, ect. I just don’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to wear pink. 

Oh, wouldn’t it be great to be a senior.