If you were to ask every single person on this planet they would say they have or had an insecurity. Whether it’s their appearance, a bad habit, a deep secret, everyone has something they don’t like about themselves. But no one teaches us how to get over those insecurities. Living with them feels like a burden and it constantly weighs people down. Enough is enough, and it’s time to take those insecurities and push past them. 

My insecurity is my nose,  I was born with Bilateral Cleft Lip and Palate. It occurs to every 1/700 people, so not too many people know about it. My case was definitely more on the extreme side, so it’s very obvious to see, just by glancing at my nose. Growing up I got picked on slightly, nothing terrible. Just an occasional little kid making a comment, but I did my best to educate them. I always had the mindset of, “they just don’t know what it is, and they are curious.” 

Going into my sophomore year, several boys from different schools commented hurtful statements on my social media; and for the first time, I felt really hurt by it. I coped with it, knowing they weren’t worth my trouble and suppressed those feelings for quite a while, not truly addressing it and just brushing it under the rug. More recently though, I’ve had many people make comments about it again. “She can smell colors with those nostrils!”, “Why is everyone lying and saying she’s beautiful?” and “Get a nose job!” – all direct words from people I didn’t even know.

 I expected myself to be devastated by those words: how could someone say that about another human they don’t even know? But this time something changed within me. I kept telling myself positive affirmations, spoke with others about this interaction, and realized that I am who I am, and I shouldn’t be ashamed of that. To my surprise, it worked! Even though I’m still dealing with people’s remarks, I know deep down who I am, I know my worth, and I don’t change a single thing about myself. 

Enough about me, let’s focus on you! Even if you don’t have a single insecurity, you can still work to embrace who you are. Here are a few ways that helped me, that hopefully can help you as well.

A good start to help push past insecurities is to know who you are. Whether it’s a talented artist, a driven athlete, a hardworking coworker, a caring classmate, or anything else. Understanding your identity, and accepting an insecurity you may have, allows you to have a deep love for who you are, and who you want to become.

I highly suggest taking yourself out on a date. Just you all by yourself, eating a meal, and figuring out who you truly are. It may feel awkward at first, but it allows you to gain a deeper understanding of yourself. You can even ask yourself a couple questions too! Something along the lines of: What do you love about yourself? Where do you see yourself in the next 4 years? Where do you put most of your energy? –  just ways to address who you are, where you want to be, and find ways to better yourself.

  Once you have a deep understanding of who you are, establish your self worth. Knowing what you deserve, how you should be treated by others, and what situations you will or won’t put yourself through, are vital. It allows you to set up healthy boundaries to protect yourself from things that would hurt or offend you. 

Now, with many physical insecurities, you can’t really change it; so you are faced with living them, which is sometimes the hardest thing. Speaking from experience, the best thing to do to help is to remind yourself that people are more invested in themselves and how they look, than to care about how others look. It sounds rude I know, but it really is the truth. Most people spend a good chunk of time every morning getting ready to look their best, and try to keep themselves presentable throughout the day. And lets say, hypothetically, someone does make a comment about your appearance, it mostly infers that they, themselves, have insecurities and are projecting that pain they feel onto others, in order to make themselves feel better. 

Insecurities weigh us down like an elephant on our chest, but by loving ourselves and embracing them, they can turn into a feature you love and appreciate.