Catching Claus


It’s a dream that every naive child has had during the upcoming holiday seasons. Proving the existence of and catching Santa Claus on Christmas Eve night as he stores your presents underneath the tree. With the list that follows, catching the red magician will be a breeze. Be a Grinch this year and steal the ultimate Christmas gift by catching Santa yourself. 


  1. Set out Bait – Santa Claus is a sucker for sweets. Thousands on thousands of sugar delights await him in kitchens all over the world. Sitting beside a sweet sip of milk lies arguably his greatest weakness. In return for the presents Santa leaves every year, the cookies are baked as a compromise. With this noted, giving Santa a few extra cookies attracts his attention. Saint Nick won’t complain, I can assure. Now, to take this a step further, set out the cookies you wish to offer Santa. Simply lay them in a trail leading away from your kitchen and toward the tree. Prior to the jolly encounter, set up a trap for him to fall victim to. Preferably have the trail of cookies lead to a spot under the trap. Have the trap consist of a large box that the burly man will fit under and prop the box up with a roll of wrapping paper. This will seem like a last-second gift wrapping station and will be of no high suspicion. Have a large bowl of cookies wait under the box and the instant he goes into your trap, it will fall on him. Trapping him in your possession. From here, either sit on top of the box or put his sack of presents upon it to keep him with you. Now while he is trapped, you are the sole possessor of Christmas.
  2.  Stay up Late – The day parents dread as they have a house full of kids resisting bedtime. It is the hardest day to fall asleep on as Christmas Day lay just a sunrise away. The day of Christmas is looked forward to the entire year. Everyone, especially children, are antsy over the day of joy and giving. A simple way to catch Nicolas Claus is by avoiding sleep all together and waiting to catch Santa Claus in the act. Stay up late! Maybe drink a soda or two at dinner as you are awaiting Santa. When night falls, pretend to be asleep in bed and once a hush falls over the house, make your way down to the tree. Find a spot slightly out of view so Santa will not easily spot you. Once he enters view, you can see for yourself the supernatural joy that awaits you. Now, you know Christmas and the person whose job is to maintain it. You have seen proof to testify to the man in red.
  3. Put Glue in Your Chimney – Historically speaking, Santa is known to slip and slide down chimneys on the night of the 25th. How he does it, summed up briefly, is simply through the magic of the night. When he goes down the chimney at your house this year, set him up for failure as it is an easy way to catch him. Simply tell your parents you plan on doing some seasonal crafts and gift making and supplies is vital. Ask them for this in advance to the night. Definitely add glue to your mix as it plays a role in your “craft”. From there, take any sort of sponge, towel or brush and simply lather the inside walls of the chimney heavily with the glue. The overweight Santa most likely already has difficulty fitting down a much smaller chimney. Adding glue as a resistant to his entry will give you a cork in your bottle of plans. Santa can’t simply fly his sleigh out of this one. Now you have caught the Claus.
  4. Lure the Reindeer Away from the Sled – The reindeer need food as they continue their long haul, so attracting the hungry reindeer with a tasty snack is an easy way to steal Christmas. Just ask your parents to buy a few extra veggies and play it off with a comment on how you want to finally eat healthier. Parents love these things and are sure to fill your request upon the next grocery haul. With the vegetables you get, lay out a path leading into your garage just as the sun begins to set. You must remain in the garage from here on out to execute the plan. As the hungry, hard working reindeer make their way toward your luring spot, shut the garage door behind them and they will not see a thing coming. You now have a key component to Santa’s escape, that you removed from his grasp. The sleigh is vulnerable without its powerhouse and the gifts will be at your fingertips as Santa is completely stranded on your lot.
  5. Set out a Camera – Technology is already taking over the world. Santa probably gives out more iPhones than he does teddy bears. Keep on pace with the tech savvy world and use the advancements to your advantage. Get an old shoe box and wrap it with themed wrapping paper. Maybe even throw in a bow. Make sure you wrap the two sides individually so the box is still able to be opened. Then cut a small hole in the box’s side and put a phone or camera against the hole. Tape it in place and have it make its way under the tree. In an unsuspecting manner, make sure the hole is open enough to see an approaching Santa, but not enough to attract attention. When Santa makes his grand entrance, you have further digital proof to back up your valid claims of seeing Saint Nick.


Does catching the man that brings joy defeat the spirit of christmas? Maybe. But if done right, all the presents you’ll bank and being one of the select few that can validate your claims of Saint Nick will make up for any lost joy. Everyone’s a little bit of a Grinch, this year may be the year you get to stay on the naughty list.