Suffering Through the Arizonan Winters


Arizona is known for its hellish heat that can burn you in an instant upon contact with sunlight. The winter sounds like a break from that, and they are in a way, but they present a new set of horrid issues.

Let’s set things straight, you can NEVER avoid the heat. The heat follows you to the ends of the Earth, except the end is 2 steps outside of your house before you collapse. Even in the winter, the sun will still create some impossible heat. You could be freezing but simultaneously sweating, it’s an Arizona thing you wouldn’t understand.


One of the largest pains is waking up in the morning. The dry and frigid air makes it nearly impossible to get out of bed. The only thing motivating you to leave bed in your parents yelling at 100 decibels to wake up. Cold is definitely something many Arizonans are not used to, and each winter always managed to add something new to hate.


The typical idea of winter weather is the cold and snow. Obviously we get no snow, I mean come on that’s out of the question, but sometimes the cold doesn’t even want to stay. I guess our state is just that bad, and most residents are aware. The mornings can leave you freezing and in multiple layers, but somehow it rises to 90 in the middle of the day, causing you to shrivel up due to heat. The bone dry air also adds to the suffering because your skin is practically falling off. Can we just stick to one weather condition, please?


If the inconsistent weather isn’t already a pain, you can never forget the holidays. Arizona makes a sad attempt in showing holiday spirit. People who care are already blasting Christmas music at max volume in their car, driving around the neighborhoods that still haven’t taken down their Halloween decorations. Those who try really hard to decorate their houses for Christmas deserve a lot of credit, but it looks a little awkward when the rest of the houses are blank. I guess I have to give Arizona some recognition for decorations in the more populated areas, but when Walmart is the best place decorated, it just doesn’t cut it.


The one good thing about the winters is the fact that spring is afterwards. Even though Arizona barely experiences all of the seasons, that short grace period is to die for (if you haven’t already died during the winter). In both extremes, it sucks, but the small moments we get to have good weather is what counts.


Although Arizonans always complain about the summer heat and act like winter is the best thing to exist, it still manages to be just as horrible. Personally, which one do I prefer? Neither, they both induce the most agonizing torture. Compared to literally any other state in the US (besides Wyoming), it is extremely boring, even during the holiday season. The best solution is to destroy Arizona and bring an end to this atrocious place.