The Nail


Many are familiar with the glamorous fake nails people get. Whether they are expensive acrylics, glue-ons, or stick-ons, they all have the same purpose: to look pretty. There are countless designs people can have to represent their personalities. 


Now that you’re well informed on the pointless fake nail, let me tell you some embarrassing stories. I have had cheap glue on nails for many occasions, some being just for fun. What may not be known to someone who has never put on or had these nails is how easily they fall off. 


I’ve been in countless situations where they just happened to pop off at the wrong time. 


The Napoleon Dynamite Dance.

The very first time my nail unexpectedly fell off was during my dance performance recreating the dance Napoleon Dynamite does in the movie. It was in front of my family and a few of our friends. I had my thumbs in my pocket to do the classic sways in the dance before the climax and the second the beat dropped, I ripped my hands out of my pockets and out came my nail. 


The big catch.

One day in my Systematics class, we got to have a fun game day instead of lifting weights. We went to the field to play a solid game of kickball. I was playing 2nd base and the ball was kicked high in the air. No one was going after it except for me. I ran after that thing like my life depended on it. As I caught the ball, my glue-on nail flew off into the grass. It was gone forever. I spent the rest of the time catching balls, getting people out, kicking home runs and looking for my nail. 


On the stage. 

I play bass guitar at the church I go to in the worship band every other weekend. I am on the outer corner of the stage and I’m not noticed, but the support the bass gives is! I don’t know why I still had the nails on but I can play with them just fine. The only problem was that my pointer finger nail was coming off and I didn’t realize. I began to play and as soon as my finger hit the string my nail came off. It landed right next to me. I was worried people would see it and be creeped out. Luckly, I grabbed it in time and no one seemed to notice. 


Game night.

A few weeks ago, my sister invited some college friends to hang out at our house and have dinner. With my fun spirit and contagious humor, I was allowed to hang too. We played many silly games and ate the most amazing steak and potatoes. During our intense game of “Taco, Cat, Goat, Cheese, Pizza” everyone was being so aggressive. In this game, the last person to slap the deck of cards gets all the cards in the deck. Each friend there was competitive like no other. As everyone was slapping the deck I put my hand in to slap it and it was instantly smashed by another hand. My nail flew off onto my sister’s hand. I’m glad it was her and no one else because one, that’s so embarrassing, and two, because the boys were acting like they hadn’t ever seen such a thing. 



I was crusin around with my little brother on our boards and we were having a swell time. When we got back into the driveway I thought it would be cool to try to jump on and off the board a hundred times. Around the sixth jump I slipped off and hit my hand on the ground. My brother was the only witness to see it shoot off into the rocks. 


Trick or Treat!

Two years ago I decided to put on some nice red nails for my Sandy from Grease costume. After my bag was full I walked home with my friends and noticed that my thumb nail was gone. “Weird” I thought. After a night of silliness and fun it was finally time to look at all of our candy and trade. When I dumped out my bag one of my friends noticed the nail and they were like “WHAT’S THAT!!” I found my nail!!


The door.

I was walking to class and being the kind and amazing person I am, I always hold the door for people. I went up to the door and grabbed the handle super aggressively. I accidentally smashed my nail into the handle and it popped off. The person behind me just gave me a strange look and walked in. 


The big catch PART TWO.

I love playing pass with my siblings or my dad whether it’s with a soccer ball, football, baseball, it doesn’t matter. One day my dad and I were throwing a baseball and we decided to play burn out. If you don’t know what that is, you basically just throw the ball as hard as you can back and forth until one person gives up because their hand can’t take anymore stingers. My dad played baseball his whole life and played in college. He was an amazing pitcher with a great arm. The last ball I caught before I gave up hit right on the palm of my hand. THAT HURT! I pulled my hand out of the glove and it was super red. I also noticed that I had a nail missing. Later, I realized that it was in my glove. 


Extreme yoga. 

I was alone in my room trying to headstands and handstands using the wall. It was pretty fun because after a little while, I was amazing at it. I would put my hands on the ground and pop up into a handstand really fast. I wanted to see if I could go from a headstand into a handstand. I was able to push myself up onto my elbows but the second I got one arm in position, my body flew into the other side of the wall. I don’t know how but my arm flew aggressively through the air and smacked my dresser. My nail was gone in a second along with my pride. I didn’t do any more yoga stunts that day. 


I’ve had some interesting experiences with the cheap fake nails that come off so easily. I know there will be many more embarrassing stories and awkward conversations with the poor people that see my nails pop off. These interactions will just lead to a good laugh and funny stories to tell at the dinner table!